Before I left home for Vermont and for the military I made a deal with my brother. With me being a conservative and him being a liberal, we have had our share of healthy, heated debate. When driving to the YMCA to lift everyday I would turn on my radio to 97.1 FM talk radio and listen to Glenn Beck preach about the approaching socialism and the doom of our democracy. Needless to say, I'm a Glenn Beck fan (or at least before he went completely off the cliff) and have bought a few of his books. I particularly enjoyed Glenn Beck's Common Sense, which I gave to my brother to read before I left home for the first time. As a counter, he handed me Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope.
The demands of being a freshman at a military school are quite time restricting. On those occasions that there is free time, I'm more inclined to stare at my computer than challenge myself by reading. But, I'm ever so slowly paging my way through the book. I may not agree with the President on every issue, but reading what he believes about different issues in his own words has helped me understand the man and has really helped me look at things differently. But in my current situation, the issues outlined in the book that are also found on CNN and Fox News are not what of greatest concern to me at the present time. As I continue to fight my way through The Audacity of Hope the greatest words of inspiration come from page 122, where the then-senator refers to a speech he gave about President Lincoln where he said:
"...in his capacity to overcome personal loss and remain determined in the face of repeated defeat - in all of this, we see a fundamental element of the American character, a belief that we can constantly remake ourselves to fit our larger dreams."
As with all teenagers, I spent the past few years of my life on an emotional roller-coaster that climbed to the highest peaks, dove into the deepest valleys, corkscrewed out of control, and painstakingly stalled on the tracks not knowing which way to go or what exactly had made it stop. All of this it seemed was happening simuteniously. But, at the end of it all, I pushed through, and everything began to fall into place and a clear, straight track was laid out before me.
Or so I thought.
The definition of struggle has taken on a new meaning for me. In high school, when I was struggling, the concern was that I would be unable to right the ship to take that next step, a step that would put me in the position to become what I wanted to be and, more importantly, who I wanted to be. As it turns out, I was able to right the ship and take that next step. Now the struggle has changed from wondering if that next step was possible to wondering if the step taken was the right step. Feeling trapped, I don't know if I could take the risk of plotting a different course and risk disappointing so many by falling short of goals and expectations.
This is where I revert back to the words of the then Senator Obama on page 122 of The Audacity of Hope. Here we are reminded that our destiny is in our own hands and that our success is determined by what we put forth through our ambition. Dreams are not written in stone and can be constantly altered and reshaped as our plans and goals change through experience and education. In this land, every individual holds within them the power to reach their goals, and to adapt those goals to meet their ever changing dreams.
